Stories of...Brooklyn

New Years is a bit like a light switch. 
We hope we can flick it off and on and poof. The greatest version of you stands in front of you. What do you see? Does she do pilates 3x a week and read manifestation books? 

I remember my first one was in 2016. I resolved to pass my AP Lit Exam and to become the graduation speaker. Which of those do you think came true? I’ll tell you it wasn’t the one I could study for.

I went back and looked at all my resolutions from then till now and was shocked by how many had stayed the same. It’s not like I remembered. I simply wrote what I felt I needed that year--

To exercise, read more, book a film.
Write my screenplay, publish my  poems.
Spend time with family.
Be nicer to my brother. 


But here is the one that stood out the most: 
“Positive thinking. Not doubting myself or trying to justify my dreams.” (2018) “don’t fear/dwell on the future.” (2018) “Take up your space.” (2019) “Manifest.” (2018) “manifest.” (2020) “listen to my inner voice. Be less anxious.” (2021) “believe in your self with all the courage and willpower you can muster.” (2022)


I look at that and I feel that I am all those things I seek to be. Filled with self belief and deeply assured that I’ll achieve said dreams. And yet, I write them. Because I also feel, entirely not. 

The interpersonal work always seems to be the hardest. Funnily enough, it’s the ones we can’t entirely control that are often the ones that come true. The cosmic irony of life. You can tell yourself you’ll write your bloody screenplay every God damn year, but you’ll end up booking the Off-Broadway play. 

Because it all happens in its own time, doesn’t it? Because although we’d certainly like it to be, it’s almost never as easy as flipping a light switch. 

Also—hello from Brooklyn. 


                                                                                                                                               Stories of Brooklyn 
                                                                                                                                  Saturday, January 1st, 2021